• May 17, 2021

I had to go, because I knew that staying would have been even more painful

I did not leave you because I no longer loved you. I did not do it because I had met someone else or because I thought I could do better.

I didn’t do it to teach you a lesson or to run after me.

I left because I couldn’t bear more.

Because it was my only option and my last attempt to protect myself from your toxicity.

I did it because I got tired of it. Because I had reached my breaking point and because I knew that staying by your side, just a little more, would have ended my end.

That staying in a relationship with you, just one more day, would have completely destroyed me.

I did it because I had no other choice.

Because I finally faced the truth and understood that you would never become the man I needed you to be, that my love would never change you and that unfortunately, I could never heal you … Whatever my efforts.

I did it because I understood that we were never made to be together and that we could never have a future.

That our relationship would never have been healthy and that it was doomed from day one.

I left because you didn’t give me the slightest reason to stay.

Because you made my life hell and because you made me unhappy. And it is not the feeling that the person we love must give us.

I left because I finally realized that you would never think of me first, that you would never really choose me and that you would never keep your promise to be different.

That you would never love me the way I loved you and the way I deserve to be loved.

I left because I was tired of chasing after you. Tired of being the only one to fight and the only one to make an effort.

Fed up with arguments and fed up with trying to do something with our couple, when you couldn’t have cared more.

Fed up with all the second chances and all the false promises.

Tired of believing in something that had obviously never been real and tired of waiting for someone who would never come.

Tired of justifying your abuse and finding excuses for your foul behavior. Tired of lying to myself, just so I can continue to love you.

Tired of being a second choice, fed up with doubting your feelings, fed up with your inconsistency, and fed up with not receiving what I needed.

I left because I had to, even though it was the most difficult decision of my life.

Because I had to find a way out, somehow, even if it tore me apart and even if it meant breaking my own heart.

I left you because staying by your side would have hurt me even more.

Because I could no longer bear to be trapped in a one-way relationship, without love and which would never have the potential to become real.

Because I finally understood that you never deserved me. Because I finally saw what I was worth and because it was time for me to stop being content with the minimum.

I left because I realized that I needed someone better.

Because I realized that I would be much better alone than stuck in a toxic relationship and because I was sure I could do without you.

I left you because I still hope that one day, a man will give himself entirely to me, a man who will love me in all the ways in which I deserve to be loved, a man who will be worthy of me.

So please, once you regret losing me, don’t come looking for me.

Once you understand that no woman will love you the way I loved you and you realize what you did, don’t try to come back into my life.

Just for once, be good and give up on me. Let me find happiness away from you because it’s the least I deserve.

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